Sermo, the physicians-only website, recently asked members to share their stories of the strangest thing they’ve removed from a patient — and then published the “winners” on its public blog to see if anyone could top them. Among the doozies:

• A seashell from a surfer’s lung, which had been lodged there for about a year.
• Two toy dogs from a child’s stomach (he said he swallowed one by accident, and the second one so the first one wouldn’t be lonely).
• One pathologist seems to have had a number of colorful patients. He or she removed — a large zucchini (rectum), the spiral from a spiral-bound notebook (man’s urethra) and a cigarette lighter (stomach).
• A bound and gagged Barbie doll from a patient’s stomach.
• His mother’s real pearl necklace from a 50-year-old man’s bladder.
• Five pens, two permanent markers, three straws, two toothbrushes, and four Oreo cookie wrappers — at one time, from the same patient’s stomach.
• A windshield wiper blade (we’ll let you guess where it was), and
• A Mighty Morphin Power Ranger (again, we’ll let you guess).

Some docs took a more light-hearted approach to the question. Several said the most unusual object they had removed was “a hospital administrator’s own head” from a particular orifice. And one psychiatrist said the only thing he had ever removed were neuroses.

Have a better story than the Mighty Morphin Power Ranger? Share it in the comments.

Using the patient story line from the episode “Ignorance is Bliss,” the final tally came in at just about $300k.

Originally, the patient presented with anemia, a mild cough and ataxia or lack of muscle coordination. The preliminary diagnosis was a rare blood disease. Upon learning of the patient’s heavy drinking, the diagnosis was changed to a potential liver problem which required a liver biopsy at roughly $10k.

Then the patient collapsed — requiring an MRI for about $1k. The MRI indicated the patient had previously suffered a broken rib that healed incorrectly, damaging the spleen — and spurring the growth of 16 “baby spleens.” The estimated cost of a (highly unconventional) “multiple-splenectomy” was $200k.

Following this treatment, the patient suffered a stroke, requiring another $60k in various treatments. In the meantime, he also received various drug treatments which cost in the area of $90k.

That estimate doesn’t take into account the fact that one patient received essentially 24/7 care from a team of specialists — who handled no other patients while he was in their care. (They did however, spend a fair amount of time looking gorgeous and discussing their complicated love lives.)

While it’s easy to mock the show’s portrayal of life in a hospital, $300k to treat one patient is a sadly realistic number given today’s out-of-control health care costs.

The ruling comes after a nine-year fight by Rhiannon O’Donnabhain to have her sex change operation and related procedures approved as a deductible medical expense. O’Donnabhain tried to deduct just under $6,000 in expenses for the surgery, breast augmentation and hormone therapy on her 2001 taxes.

IRS denied the deduction, claiming the procedures were solely cosmetic and that her diagnosis of gender identity disorder (GID) was “not a significant psychiatric disorder” and was just a “social construction.” She fought the decision.

This month, the tax court ruled that the hormone therapy and surgery were deductible, as treatment for her GID. But the breast augmentation was disallowed, as a cosmetic procedure.

The just-launched Book of Odds, is a massive compendium of data on virtually any imaginable topic. Unlike user-generated sites like Wikipedia, the data presented on the site is researched, sources are noted and links are provided.

In addition to longer posts on recent research, the site presents quick-hit “odds statements” such as, “The odds a child younger than 18 in fair or poor health has asthma are 1 in 2.52.”

For health care providers, the site could be both a blessing and a curse. It’s a handy research tool for specific data useful for clinicians. A recent search under “health care” brought up studies on hospital-acquired infections, emergency room wait times and the latest premature birth rates.

But the site’s breadth of topics, and context-free “odds statements” could run the risk of providing patients with just enough knowledge to scare themselves silly. For instance, some of the recently featured odds statements included humdingers like:

• The odds a person 35 or older has coronary heart disease are 1 in 5.98
• The odds a female will ever be diagnosed with breast cancer are 1 in 8.28, and
• The odds a singleton baby will die during infancy of sudden infant death syndrome are 1 in 1666; The odds for a singleton baby born to a woman age 18 to 19 are 1 in 802.

Will the Book of Odds end up being a useful tool for health care providers, or a source of confusion and anxiety for patients — whom health care providers then have to talk off the proverbial ledge? Let us hear your thoughts.

That’s the lesson recently learned by a tax attorney (no, really) who tried to deduct more than $108,000 in medical expenses on his taxes. The bulk of the funds were spent on prostitutes, porn, and magazines on sex therapy.

We’ll give him this: He kept good records, including the amounts paid, the date payment was made and the name of the “service provider.”

But the feds weren’t convinced that the “treatments” were for a medical condition, and a court agreed.

He’ll now have to pay not only the back taxes on the disallowed deductions, but another $4,200 in penalties.

Not much of a happy ending.